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A fiend unholy

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Who first seduced them to that foul revolt?
Th’ infernal Serpent; he it was whose guile,
Stirred up with envy and revenge, deceived
The mother of mankind, what time his pride
Had cast him out from Heaven, with all his host
Of rebel Angels, by whose aid, aspiring
To set himself in glory above his peers,
He trusted to have equalled the Most High,
If he opposed, and with ambitious aim
Against the throne and monarchy of God,
Raised impious war in Heaven and battle proud,
With vain attempt. Him the Almighty Power
Hurled headlong flaming from th’ ethereal sky,
With hideous ruin and combustion, down
To bottomless perdition, there to dwell
In adamantine chains and penal fire,
Who durst defy th’ Omnipotent to arms.

– John Milton, Paradise Lost

Pit bull (cock extension) showcase

A Google image search for “pit bull” will show as its results photos almost entirely from pro-pit bull propagandists. These photos, intended to make us realise that these canine cock extensions are JUZT ADOWABLEZ, instead show for all the world how God-damn butt-ugly they are.

Take this “flattering” photo. Dog lovers will say, “Cute puppeeee,” but it honestly makes me think of a lab rat. A mutated one that’s eating its own foot (presumably to escape a trap):

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And what is with this breed and those ludicrously small, vacant, beady eyes spaced so far apart?

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They also look like they’re shaved:

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Yeah, I’m sure that thread will hold your hideous freakazoid when it inevitably goes ballistic:

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Doesn’t it ever occur to these idiots why so many pit bull owners soon dump them at shelters?

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WTF? Do they pump these dogs with ‘roids or something? Actually, no, that can’t be it; ‘roids would shrink the dog’s balls and no wannabe tuffguy could abide that.

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An even worse example of animal bodybuilding. WTF, people? This is wrong:

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Again with those ugly little eyes that make it look moronic:

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This one looks like an unbelievably ugly version of a fat, grumpy cat:

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It’s like they’re being bred so they can conveniently fit in a cardboard box:

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One hears a lot from pit bull advocates about how “sweet”, “gentle” and “loyal” the breed is, but not as much, one can’t help but notice, about its intelligence…

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Oops. Google Images: Unfortunate Irony Edition:

And with the reality in mind, I now present to you the fantasy:

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(^ BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

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Dog attacks foiled by cats

The owners were probably all, “Tee, hee! It’s okay, my dog doesn’t bite! And when it does, it’s okay ’cause it’s just playing! ISN’TDATRITEMUASPESHULCUDDLYWUDDLYPUMPKINPOO”

That boy needed 10 stitches to his leg and luckily, the dog was put down  (they often aren’t in these situations). It’d probably still be running amok if the attack wasn’t caught on camera.